Was it only 10 years ago that Interior and Local Government Sec. Mar Roxas was considered a genius for coming up with the catchy “Mr. Palengke” campaign slogan? Set to the tune of Parokya Ni Edgar’s cheeky song “Mr. Suave,” the heir to the Araneta fortune rode on this magical formula to the top of the 2004 senatorial elections with more than 19 million votes, way ahead of second-placer Sen. Bong Revilla’s 15 million votes. Alas, it has all been downhill since then for the well-meaning but seemingly hard-luck politiko who has failed to conjure the same mojo with his vote-getting gimmicks in the last few years. Here are the five epic fails of Roxas: Roxas as a ‘tibak.” In December 2008, Roxas used profane language in a Makati rally to express his outrage over moves by then President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo to extend her term through charter change. Roxas as a traffic aide. In July 2009, images and videos of Roxas directing traffic in the rain during the State of the Nation Address traffic went viral. Roxas as a “padyak” driver. In the presidential campaign for the 2010 elections, Roxas rode a pedicab in a television campaign ad which was widely panned as superficial. Roxas as “kargador.” In July 2014, Roxas took part in an inspection tour of a rice warehouse in Malolos, Bulacan which was memorable only because he carried a sack of rice on his shoulder. Roxas as a dirt bike rider. In December 2014, Roxas slipped on a muddy road while surveying the damage caused by typhoon “Ruby” in Eastern Samar. We’re no experts but here’s our unsolicited advice to the Liberal Party’s presumptive presidential candidate:

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