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Duterte’s advise to fellow ‘tanders’: Don’t look for ‘sexually active’ lovers, they’ll be the death of you!

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President Rodrigo Duterte is turning 74 in a couple of days and he has these words to live by for fellow, aging lotharios who still want to live long.

“The advice is if you are old, don’t look for very sexually active ones because you will die. They will force you,” said Duterte in a speech in Cagayan de Oro.

At an age where the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, Duterte erectile dysfunction drugs could only do so much.

“Viagra can help but you have to focus.You have to focus because when you think of problems in the office, it will soften again,” said Duterte.

“When you use Viagra, you have to hurry because the effect will wear off. Son of a b****. The woman will say, ‘What’s that? It’s limp already. Make it hard again because I’m not done yet’. So what will you do?” he added.

Duterte has accepted his waning sexual prowess as part of “biology.” “Well, this life. I’m 74. When I leave I want — I ask God personally to take me already. That’s true,” he said.

Duterte then went on to make an allegory of one of his life’s “happiest moments.”

“If you want, they say, ‘when the universe was created’. So everything was quiet then, ‘Pak!’ just like that. Then when the dust settled, it became rocks.If you want to experience that right there. The time you ‘prrkkk’,” he said.

“The first time you don’t know your neighbors, you don’t even know your name and where the hell you’re at. It just exploded in a second and that’s it. That is what you cannot really buy. That is what the
rich and poor can be proud of,” he said. “If you want to have a reenactment at the time when the universe started with a big bang, that’s it. ‘Pak!’ That’s how the universe was created,” he added.

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